I don’t like to brag, but I have an enormous estate. Most of it has been passed down through the generations, so I sorta got used to letting things run themselves. Years ago, my ancestors started building what would become one of the greatest, wealthiest and most powerful in it’s class. The cup runs over with power and wealth. To meet me you would never guess I had so much. I am not a rock star, or an actor. I am just a man with a lot of assets. I am thinking about applying for a loan so that I will not have to file bankruptcy on my debts. As you will see, all that I have is putting me in debt. So I would like to list some of my assets.

I have a Mansion

My mansion is beautiful. It is one of the most desirable homes in my country. It is large and furnished with some of the finest furnishings around. It has a large yard, and even has a place for the landing of my helicopter. My mansion is staffed with personnel to cook, clean, and do everything else. My mansion has a security fence all the way around. I keep armed security on guard 24/7 365, they are among the best security personnel anywhere. It really is awesome. You may wonder why I would pay so much money for so much security? The mansion was built a long time ago, and the neighborhood has become one of the most corrupt. I let people on my payroll stay there, just an added benefit for working for me, they love it. I have never been there, but they tell me it’s nice. I really should throw a party there some day. You should come, it’ll be fun.

I have a Limo

My limo is great. It is one tricked out ride. You really should see the inside. There is a man on my payroll whose only job is to drive the car, he loves it. My limo has the best of the best in auto security. It has reinforced metal and glass. I also pay security to ride in a separate vehicle to guard the car and people inside. I never use it myself, I let the employee of the year use it. He tells me the car is a gas hog, but why does he care, I’m the one paying for it. He says it’s fun to piss people off because they can’t harm him when he’s inside. We’ll have to take it for a spin sometime.

I have a Jet

My jet is so cool. You would love it. It’s like a flying house. My jet has everything you could imagine. It does a whole lot more than getting from point a to point b. I don’t like to fly, so I never use it. The folks on my payroll sure love it though. Just one of the small perks. I have noticed recently though, the fuel cost is really tugging my wallet.

I like taking care of my employees. Sure, it cost a lot to take care of these people, but I expect a great job performance. I pay them at the top of the pay scale, and give them an excellent benefits package. They even get raises when they think they need them.I also provide them with all of these extras that I don’t really use anyway. I don’t mind, as long as they do me a good job. Of course, lately the cost is catching up to me. I have to admit, I have taken my fortune for granted. Now, I think everyone on my payroll is taking their job for granted. They are starting to get greedy and take too much control of my own property.

I Have it All

Some people would say I have it all. I guess I never realized how much I really did have. It has all been passed down through the generations. I don’t really have the time to worry about the day to day operations. Everything was already staffed by the time I inherited it. It has always ran itself so far, so I just let it. I just figure I’ll pay the professionals to run things. They can decide what is important. Why should I have to worry about it. I mean I am the one paying them, it’s not like they can just take over, is it?

Now, I am starting to see things through a different light. I’m thinking I should have paid more attention. I started noticing that I was paying people to protect me and my lifestyle, but the only thing they were doing is increasing their own. They have taken me to the cleaners while I provide their wealth. I am thinking it may be time for me to look into downsizing. I need to step in and protect my inheritance before it is all gone. I think it may be time for me to fire some people.

Yes, I have a mansion. I never even seen it. I pay people to run things, and let them live in my mansion. I also provide all of the basics for these people. Lately I have been very displeased with these people whom I pay well. They have been lying and stealing from me, so I am looking into replacing them.

Are you looking for work? Are you honest and trustworthy? Are you able to take orders and do what you are paid to do? The pay is great, the benefits are great, and the perks are awesome. If you are interested, you will need to know who I am! You can find me anywhere. I am the average tax paying American citizen. ……  Now Hiring!


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